with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
