We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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