She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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