glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
