well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
