I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
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he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
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and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.