He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
