i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
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Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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