You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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