he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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