erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You made out with two different species that night
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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