So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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