He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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