but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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