you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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