So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
