Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
