I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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