My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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