I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize