when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
