I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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