we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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