I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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