apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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