Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
