Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
