I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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