Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
