Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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