drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
