Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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