Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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