The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize