i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
