After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize