i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
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well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
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MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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