before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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