Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
