She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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