dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
