So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
