He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
