I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
