You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
