I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
