I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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