I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just found a bag of teeth...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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