Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Randomize
