I need help removing her.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
