We won't sleep together?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize