apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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