Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize