i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
