I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
