idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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