Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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