Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
